As a father, I have failed to uphold a biblical household well. I have had much theology in my mind, but I have always lacked the application of that theology, which is a recipe for disaster. Fortunately for me, and other fathers in my position, Christ is gracious to us when we repent of our sins. While listening to men I trust in the faith, they spoke of practices in the home that should be done by Christian men; I was not doing those practices, even though I agreed fathers should be doing them. I wasn’t ignoring discipling my children entirely, but my responsibility had diminished, and the discipleship we were practicing was minimal. My wife and I homeschool our children, which includes bible lessons in the curriculum. We also send them to Awana, which includes bible reading and memorization. So, while our house is not void of any biblical interactions, my involvement was minimal, and we did not make these studies a daily practice. While not in school and while not in Awana, we did none of the above. I felt quite guilty about this, and knew I needed to make a change.
From those same faithful men discussing discipleship in the home, I had heard about the Vanderbilt Revised Common Lectionary, which provides daily readings of the scriptures. I wanted to start reading through this with my children, and I wanted to begin singing the doxology with them so we could get into a routine of family liturgy. Eventually my plan was to expand to catechisms and singing of some of the psalms as well, but this seemed a good place to start doing something. Well, that plan did not pan out for several days, and since it was not a normal practice in our home, I kept forgetting; I was placing importance on chores or play instead. I knew I needed to be deliberate about this, so I set an alarm on my phone for thirty minutes before bedtime so I would not forget the next day.
That next evening, my alarm went off and I gathered my children, who were eight, five, three, and one. They were quite upset that our normal playful activities were interrupted, and they put up a fight going in. I wasn’t going to let that discourage me, although it did make it quite difficult to get started. I decided to begin with the reading and move on to the doxology afterwards; we had never sung as a family, so I felt that would be the most awkward part. I began by asking my children for forgiveness, explaining to them that I had not done what I should have been doing as a father. I want them to be raised as Christians, but I was not doing my part of instilling biblical practices in the home. They were still not so happy that our old habits were being interrupted by this new one. I felt that I was going to have a great challenge ahead of me to get this habit build up.
Yet, by God’s divine grace, the reading form the Vanderbilt Lectionary that day was on singing praises to God because He has delivered us. We covered Psalm 118:1-2, Psalm 14-24, Exodus 14:10-31, Exodus 15:20-21, and Colossians 3:5-11. I was caught off guard;I had to hold back my emotion as I read these passages. Through these passages, I was able to teach my children that we are to sing praises to God because He has delivered us from sin. What are the odds? Of course, I don’t believe in chances, God is sovereign, and He works everything according to His will. By the time we were done with the reading, they were excited to sing! Well, at least the older two were; the younger two didn’t really know what was going on.
We ended by finding a video to help us through the doxology. It was awkward, just as I had suspected, but God’s grace in aligning those passages with the beginning of our journey into a family liturgy was an unexpected gift and a great encouragement to continue. If you have not been training your children in this way, today is a perfect day to start. Don’t expect perfection in this habit: it is not the end of the world to miss a day. The idea is to steep your children into the liturgy of the home that resembles the liturgy of the church. They should be hearing God’s word, singing his praises, confessing their sins to one another, and encouraging one another in obedience to God. Some of those are more of an “in the moment” lesson, like confessing sins, while others need to be set in habit.
Many fathers are taught that their daily reading is one of the most important parts of their day; you need to be in your word or you aren’t maintaining your relationship with Christ: “How can you love Christ when you don’t communicate with Him and hear from his word?” This sets up in your mind the false notion that if you haven’t spent an hour in the morning reading God’s word alone, you aren’t doing it right. It is not bad to have this time, but if you are doing this and neglecting reading, praying, and singing with your family, then you are neglecting your main role as a father: raising your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Make this the most important thing to remember each day, and if you only have time for reading alone or reading with your family, choose your family. God will not be angry that you neglected your alone time with him.
If you want to start this practice you can begin with reading from the Vanderbilt Revised Common Lectionary: https://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu/daily.php?year=A
If you need some songs to sing, start with songs like the Doxology, or one of the Psalms. We sang along to this video of the Doxology. Learn it with your family so you can eventually sing it without the video, and then pick up some of the Psalms in the same way.
I want to thank the men at the King’s Hall Podcast for their encouragement in leading my family. Feel free to listen to their podcast and learn as well. https://www.kingshall.org/media
Bible Passages:
Psalm 118 1-2; 14-24
1 Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
2 Oh let Israel say,
“His lovingkindness is everlasting.”
14 The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation.
15 The sound of joyful shouting and salvation is in the tents of the righteous;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
16 The right hand of the LORD is exalted;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
17 I will not die, but live,
And tell of the works of the LORD.
18 The LORD has disciplined me severely,
But He has not given me over to death.
19 Open to me the gates of righteousness;
I shall enter through them, I shall give thanks to the LORD.
20 This is the gate of the LORD;
The righteous will enter through it.
21 I shall give thanks to You, for You have answered me,
And You have become my salvation.
22 The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief corner stone.
23 This is the LORD’S doing;
It is marvelous in our eyes.
24 This is the day which the LORD has made;
Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Exodus 14:10-31
10 As Pharaoh drew near, the sons of Israel looked, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they became very frightened; so the sons of Israel cried out to the LORD. 11 Then they said to Moses, “Is it because there were no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you dealt with us in this way, bringing us out of Egypt? 12 “Is this not the word that we spoke to you in Egypt, saying, ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.”
13 But Moses said to the people, “Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever. 14 “The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent.”
15 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to Me? Tell the sons of Israel to go forward. 16 “As for you, lift up your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it, and the sons of Israel shall go through the midst of the sea on dry land. 17 “As for Me, behold, I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them; and I will be honored through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. 18 “Then the Egyptians will know that I am the LORD, when I am honored through Pharaoh, through his chariots and his horsemen.”
19 The angel of God, who had been going before the camp of Israel, moved and went behind them; and the pillar of cloud moved from before them and stood behind them. 20 So it came between the camp of Egypt and the camp of Israel; and there was the cloud along with the darkness, yet it gave light at night. Thus the one did not come near the other all night.
21 Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD swept the sea back by a strong east wind all night and turned the sea into dry land, so the waters were divided. 22 The sons of Israel went through the midst of the sea on the dry land, and the waters were like a wall to them on their right hand and on their left. 23 Then the Egyptians took up the pursuit, and all Pharaoh’s horses, his chariots and his horsemen went in after them into the midst of the sea. 24 At the morning watch, the LORD looked down on the army of the Egyptians through the pillar of fire and cloud and brought the army of the Egyptians into confusion. 25 He caused their chariot wheels to swerve, and He made them drive with difficulty; so the Egyptians said, “Let us flee from Israel, for the LORD is fighting for them against the Egyptians.”
26 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand over the sea so that the waters may come back over the Egyptians, over their chariots and their horsemen.” 27 So Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the sea returned to its normal state at daybreak, while the Egyptians were fleeing right into it; then the LORD overthrew the Egyptians in the midst of the sea. 28 The waters returned and covered the chariots and the horsemen, even Pharaoh’s entire army that had gone into the sea after them; not even one of them remained. 29 But the sons of Israel walked on dry land through the midst of the sea, and the waters were like a wall to them on their right hand and on their left.
30 Thus the LORD saved Israel that day from the hand of the Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians dead on the seashore. 31 When Israel saw the great power which the LORD had used against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD, and they believed in the LORD and in His servant Moses.
Exodus 15:20-21
20 Miriam the prophetess, Aaron’s sister, took the timbrel in her hand, and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dancing. 21 Miriam answered them, “Sing to the LORD, for He is highly exalted; The horse and his rider He has hurled into the sea.”
Colossians 3:5-11
5 Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. 6 For it is because of these things that the wrath of God will come upon the sons of disobedience, 7 and in them you also once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, 10 and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him— 11 a renewal in which there is no distinction between Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and freeman, but Christ is all, and in all.