Introduction
Raising children is one of the most rewarding tasks that anyone can undertake. It requires a lot of diligence to raise children to be responsible adults. If you are lazy, they will be lazy. If you are angry, they will be angry. Whether we like it or not, we have all adopted behavioral traits from our parents. Whether we like it or not, our children are going to learn behavioral traits from us! This makes parenting our children not only something that affects our lives now, but will affect the next generation and the next. It cascades for quite some time, and often bad behaviors go through generations. There are three pieces of good news, though. First, good behaviors also continue through several generations. Second, we can make a change to ourselves to correct bad behaviors in order to instill better lessons upon our children. This will give them a better foothold to then raise their children. Third, and most important, Christ has sent to us the Holy Spirit, which is a helper to us to remove sin and instill righteousness. This means that your faith lived out is not only going to improve your life, but it will also improve the next generation.
Think of the Children
As we live our lives, we need to think of our children. Even if you don’t have any children of your own, you are still going to interact with children in some way. You can be an aunt or uncle, family friend, or one of many other indirect relationships where you have influence on children. Scripture gives plenty of instruction for us on how to raise children correctly. The book of Proverbs is full of practical application that was left by king Solomon for his sons. In the Proverbs we read Solomon’s sound advice to his sons to seek wisdom. This wisdom includes the raising up of their own children. We see advice such as adhering punishments (Proverbs 13:24; 19:18) and instilling knowledge (Proverbs 12:1). Parents are to discipline their children in order to bring them up in wisdom. This discipline is not just punishment for wrongdoing, but a continued life of practicing correct behavior. Part of this behavior is teaching of the God who is above us all. In the book of Deuteronomy, parents are told to continually teach of God and His ways.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
4 “Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! 5 “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7 “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 8 “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 9 “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Teaching of God’s word and law is important in raising children correctly. God is to be loved and followed by all those who believe, and we are in covenant with Him through the Holy Spirit. We are to raise our children in this covenant, teaching them of what God has done through Jesus Christ. This education is not just relevant to what scripture teaches, but to all subjects. As we teach our children about math, science, language, philosophy, or any other subject, we are to remember that all things are subject to Christ. If you are a parent, you are responsible for your children getting this type of education. It cannot simply be passed onto someone else. This does not mean that you cannot receive help in educating your children, but you have primary responsibility for what is taught. If you send your children to be educated in secular schools and expect that their forty hours a week of learning without God will be countered by one to two hours on Sunday, you are wrong. Education is not neutral, it always points to an underlying worldview and Christian parents should be teaching the Christian worldview to their children.
This can be a huge undertaking, but think of the children. Don’t you want your child to be raised in the fear and admonition of the Lord? Of course! So often we want something good for our children but we aren’t willing to put the time into it. We want them to learn a musical instrument, but we don’t want to hear the noise of instruments being played terribly. This is the difficulty of raising children correctly, it requires sacrifice.
Think of the Grandchildren
Knowing what is right is very different from doing what is right. So often our flesh battles our spirit and we want to be lazy. We deal with our children day in and day out with little to no breaks. This is by God’s design. They are meant to be with us so often so we can teach them all His commands in every situation. Your child is not just learning when they are sitting at a table reading a textbook or doing a school project. They are learning how to manage a home, how to cook and clean, how to speak to others, how to treat people in the service industry, how to act with their siblings and friends, and so much more. All of life is a lesson, and we want to raise our children to glorify God in all that they do. So often the day to day activities can cloud our minds from this goal and we let things slide or expect that they can learn more from others than they can learn from us. In these times, think of the grandchildren.
You are not only raising your child at the moment. “Don’t hit your sister” is a sentence that is said far too often to young boys who have not yet learned the right circumstances to be rough and gentle. It can turn into a catch phrase filled with anger and discipline can turn into nothing but punishment. Instead of responding with anger, you can explain why the action is not okay, and give him a proper outlet for his energy such as roughhousing time with dad. That way he understands that there is an appropriate way for him to use his aggression that does not bring harm to others. This will not eliminate conflict between siblings, but it will give a positive direction for growth. You are raising your little boys and girls to become adults who will have their own children and prepare the next generation. Instead of getting lost in the discipline, think of how your children are going to grow, or if they will grow, from this experience. It can be very helpful to change your perspective on a situation in order to maintain the proper attitude in interacting with your child. “Is this the way I want my son or daughter to treat their children when they are older?” “Am I going to be proud of how my children raise my grandchildren?” “Maybe I should go about this differently in order to instill a more Godly behavior in my Child.” This does not mean punishment is out of the window. Proverbs clearly states that we cannot avoid punishment, but the punishment should be without anger (Ephesians 6:4). When we do this our children are going to learn lessons rather than alter their behavior out of fear alone.
Don’t Forget the Future
If we don’t keep this generational thinking in the back of our minds we are going to begin to slip in our parenting. The popular saying, “Children are our future” has some truth to it. They are not the future in the sense that they will make things better on their own, or that their ideas are better than ours. They are the future in the sense that they will be the ones to bring up the next generation, and they are the ones that will care for us when we are old. If we raise them only thinking of their behavior as children we can raise behaved children that aren’t ready for interaction in the real world. Yes, we want good kids, but we want kids that have life lessons, not kids that know how to stay quiet and say please and thank you. It goes back to Deuteronomy, we teach them all that God has commanded. We teach how to raise their own children, how to act as managers or employees, how to work diligently, how to take responsibility for their actions, how to interact kindly with others, and more. All of these are not lessons learned from books, they are lessons learned in life.
If you want your child to be raised correctly, to be a responsible adult who honors God with their life, then honor God with all of your life and teach them to do the same. There is no moment of your life that is not a lesson for them. Don’t hide your finances from them, don’t hide your arguments from them, don’t treat them as “too young” to learn any lesson. You will get many questions, answer them all honestly.
Conclusion
Thinking generationally means raising your children in a way that not only teaches them textbook knowledge and prepares them to work in a career, but also teaches them how to honor God in every way. Thinking generationally is keeping in mind that you will have grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great great great great great grandchildren. What are you teaching your child that will bless those future generations? Will your child know how to deal with life, or are they going to go off to college and get hit in the face by an ungodly world? Do your children and your grandchildren a favor, raise your child to be an adult, not to be a child.